Listening is the best gift
Perhaps you are feeling busy today; perhaps you are traveling, food prepping, or staring down an epic list of chores. It’s possibly a bad day to post this message … or maybe it’s the best day.
I’ve just spent five weeks in Tahiti and the Cook Islands with Master Navigator Tua Pittman, and I’ve been learning to write biography. I spent many hours listening to one person tell his story, and this got me thinking about all of the listening I’ve been learning to do. The above photo, by Eric Guth, is from our time on Tahuata in the Marquesas Islands. We loved listening to Tehina sing.
I can be a great listener, but not always. If you’ve met me, you’ve probably been interrupted by me. I am eager to share! I have stories to tell! And oh yes, I have opinions.
Yet each time I go on an assignment, I return to the same revelations:
- listening is the core of storytelling
- it is always, always worth practicing, and
- it is a precious gift.
Many of us gather with others this time of year, and they are often people we think we know well. This is the best and most challenging opportunity to listen. I hope you will join me and challenge yourself to listen more and to listen differently.
I’ve got two methods for you to try
1) The classic and very effective interview script which goes like this:
- “What happened?”
- “And then what happened?”
- “And then what happened?” … and so on.
I use this often.
2) Fresh questions that will lift you out of the usual patterns. These can be about anything and followed up by “Tell me more.”
- Did you have pets as a child? Tell me about them.
- Do you remember your first date? Tell me about it.
- When was the first time you left home? Tell me about that.
If these feel too weighty, try for frivolity. There is no wrong place to start.
If this sounds too flaky, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
Have fun! Visit this page to learn more about our time in the Marquesas.
