If giving trashy, funny gifts, which Monbiot decries, is a symptom of irony, as Wampole suggests, then our decreasing ability to be authentic with each other is having disastrous consequences for the planet. Irony could be the cause of much more than superficial friendships. Perhaps trying to be clever really shows that you don’t care (are too scared to care?) on a personal and planetary level.
Also, I like how Monbiot distinguishes different types of obsolescence, and I think a kiss sounds like a nice Christmas gift.